Tuesday, December 25, 2007

My First Post (An Introduction To Baby Ranter)

Merry Christmas. Here's my gift to you: My blog. The sad fact is (and let's face it, there are a lot of sad facts) no matter how loud I scream, not all of you on this awful planet will hear me. Maybe more of you people will hear me out if I start blogging. As usual, it's you, you, you.

Let's just get it out of the way: The name of this blog. "Baby Ranter." A lot of you people out there who do nothing but read blogs are probably all up in arms about how my name is a lot like another blog's name: Copy Ranter. OK, but get this: That blog is about how bad advertisements are. This blog is about how bad life is and how it screws me over more frequently than traffic and weather on the 8's.

So, basically, when it comes to what blog is best: I win. But be sure to head over there to read about what we already know: Copywriters are assholes. And not smart. (N.B.: My uncle is a copywriter. Notice I'm not making any exceptions.)

Anyways, let's move on, 'cos I've got other things to do aside from blogging (for instance, food, and clutching on to my mother like there's an F4 hurricane happening at the same time as a 9.6 earthquake):

What's this blog REALLY about:

I'll make it easy for you. Try to read slow - maybe it'll sink in a little better.

I. Am. Angry.

And you need to know it. I scream, I bash my head on the ground, I fall over, I cry. So why are you people still smiling? Why are you not rushing furiously to attend to my wants? And why are you paying attention to my sister? She's got enough things to keep her busy! AND WHERE THE HELL IS MY MOMMY?!

Anyways, so yeah: Point is, Everyday, I'm going to make an effort to let you know what awful thing - more likely, THINGS - have befallen me.

I hope you've got a strong stomach, 'cos this won't be pretty.

Speaking of stomach. Can a guy get some frickin' breakfast sausage and cookies over here, or do I have to go slaughter a pig and rob a bakery myself?

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